How to Prepare Your House for the Holidays

Fa la la la la la FUS RO DAH Meme

With Christmas coming up, many families will be leaving their homes to visit relatives, which means the Wet Bandits will be posing as police officers and meeting everyone in the neighborhood. Below is a list I found that will help protect your house from pesky Dovakiins dressed as Santa, I mean burglars.

1. Have a Home Security System – Please note that this doesn’t work well if your kid is left home alone and never locks, or even shuts the door.

2. Don’t Advertise Your Christmas Plans – To be fair to the McAlisters, they really only told a “police officer.” It’s not like they put a sign outside that said “House is should be empty.”

3. Don’t Show Off Your Gifts – This is impossible to do, especially if you got a Red Rider BB Gun or a Turbo Man doll. Studies show that kids with Turbo Man dolls have their houses broken into more often than kids with a Booster doll. Nobody likes you Booster!

4. Update/Secure Your Home’s Entry Points – This means try to have deadbolts on doors. It doesn’t mean turn all windows into doors and your doors into walls.

5. Be Aware of Your Surroundings – Don’t tell of your neighbors that you are getting a flat screen tv. Most burglars live in the area that rob, so don’t leave evidence that you have a Turbo Man doll nestled safely under your tree. Even the Kindergarten Cop would be tempted.

Grumpy Cat Christmas Meme

I decided to add a few of my own to this list. Never can be too safe!!!

6. Leave Your Youngest,Smartest Kid at Home – I heard a case once, where these two criminals broke into every house in a certain neighborhood with security systems and locked doors. They were no match for an 8-year-old that left the windows open and doors unlocked.

7. Place Ornaments on the Floor by the Windows – You can be sure that a criminal will enter barefoot through the window where you placed ornaments. No way this plan can backfire.

8. Have a Pet Reindeer – Protect your Turbo Man doll the best way you can. Just make sure your reindeer isn’t an alcoholic.

9. Have a Gun – Your neighbors probably won’t mess with you if you carry something larger than a Red Rider BB Gun.

10. Stay Home – An unopened door is a happy door. Burglars don’t often bring cake, unless that cake is made of dog poo and knives.


How to Protect Your Home During the Holidays:

Home Alone

Jingle All The Way

IT Crowd

A Christmas Story

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