German Philosopher Discusses the Pitfalls of American Sports (Read: Some German Dude Thinks American Football is Dumb)


You know those times when you are forced choose to go to a restaurant with a little kid and you really want to freak them out so you order two drinks.  Yeah, that happened to me just last week.  I was all like you can get two different drinks at restaurants?  And they were all like, “Yeah, what are you like 12?”  And the 12 year old was like “Hey, don’t insult us all at once!”  Then I punched him.  Would have been the perfect ending if that little monster hadn’t punched me back and made me cry.  I hate that kid….  Anyway, that same look I had on my face that day is the same look that this German man has on his face after learning that Americans have their own version of Football that makes no sense….like at all….  In his defense, his video is labeled as having recorded this at 12:32am.  He looks pretty tired, but that could just be the drugs.  Just keep reading to see the video of the (possibly high and drunk at the same time) guy trying to rename Football.

So tell me, Mr. German Guy who “doesn’t understand zis football name in Amelica”, if your “futbol” is so much better than ours, then why is it spelled wrong, huh?  Yeah, learn how to spell and then come and tell me about how Germans are all so much cooler than us.  I’d like to see you pick up and throw your futbol as far as we throw ours!  “You can’t touch the ball with your hands in their version, stupid.”  Well that sounds just like soccer.  So ha again!  Yours is stupid because it should be called soccer.  “I’m going to call the 12 year old to come up here and shut you up if you don’t stop being ignorant.”  Hey, don’t joke like that….that’s not funny.  Oh, and FYI, we don’t have 6 kicks in 8 seconds because we know how to get first downs here in America.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to brush up on my Amerigerman and wach more of this guys videos.

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One thought on “German Philosopher Discusses the Pitfalls of American Sports (Read: Some German Dude Thinks American Football is Dumb)

  1. Pingback: This Somehow Actually Exists: Face Yoga | frybreadwhitebread

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