I actually wrote this post 8 hours ago, but in order to maximize my viewer numbers while minimizing positive feedback, I had to delay the post until the evening. OH BURN! Now to the real business. Now that the Olympics are over and NBC has done their obligatory “play the closing ceremonies 12 times but only play parts of it because we know what the American audience wants to see” bit, I feel like I can finally blog my honest heart out and lament over what a terribly great job they did (emphasis on the terribly). I have, for your entertainment, compiled a list of the definitive fail moments of the olympics. Any thing you see missing from the list was left out because it was irrelevant. Anything you see on the list and disagree with is on there because you’re wrong. Now that we got that out of the way, keep reading to change your life forever.
#5. Revealing the Results Before Showing the Race
Missy Franklin, the swimmer who stole America’s heart with her sparkling smile and teenage girl enthusiasm, was going to be swimming the 100m backstroke, going for the gold that everybody hoped she would win. Turns out she did win (YAY!) but NBC accidentally spoiled the results right before they showed the race (BOO!). Mood killed? Oh yeah.
#4. Editing Out Part of the Open Ceremony for Ryan Seacrest
Keeping with that theme that NBC chose of “choosing what ‘Merica wants to see!”, they decided they were going to edit out a particularly sensitive part of the ceremony known as the Victims Tribute, in which they pay tribute (DUH!) to the 7/7 Terrorist Attacks. NBC decided that an interview with Ryan Seacrest and Michael Phelps would be much more interesting to the American audience. I mean, heck, if you have exclusive broadcast rights to the Olympics, why not edit it?
#3. Delaying EVERYTHING!
NBC said this was so they could reach the maximum number of Primetime viewers (read: we want more moneh!). Fans were heartbroken at the news, but they became outraged when it started spoiling the magic of
Christmas the Olympics! Results were spoiled and friendships were broken (on accident unless you are me). This caused some people to have to cut off their ties to the human world (read: the internet) in order to not kill anybody. Then, to top it off, they saved the events everybody cared about until the very end of the evening, forcing those people to watch them in a sleepy stupor.
#2. Let’s Take a Break for World War II
As mentioned in #3, this little break only took the terrible tape delay to a whole new level. Before, some of these “breaks” were about the actual Olympics. You would think that NBC would have learned their lesson with all of the criticism they had been receiving, but that didn’t stop them from making even more mistakes. It was a World War II documentary called “Their Finest Hour.” Once again, it was a chance for Britain to say “look at me,” showing the role that they played in the war. This upset many fans (big surprise) who took to twitter to show their collective and totally influential social networking muscles.
#1. Editing the Closing Ceremony
Besides already being offended that his commercial offended people because it was a monkey, this monkey expresses my sentiments about the closing ceremonies. Not only did they edit out the main events of the evening (like The Who! The Who does that?!), they decided that an hour long of commercial free “Animal Practice” would be more interesting to watch. Animal….Practice…. Once again, fans were outraged.
#0. To Stream These Precious Events Live, You Must Pay for Cable!
I know the #0 is kind of cheating, but this is something that could not be avoided. This year, NBC decided to take a step backwards and require a Cable subscription in order to watch the Olympics live online. In the previous summer olympics, they had broadcast it for free online. “But this didn’t make us as much money!” they said. So they pulled the feed instead. Yes, NBC, let’s resist change and natural progression.