In what will probably go down as the biggest nervous breakdown in history, a Scottish teacher named Joyce Kilmartin (a most ironic and unfortunate name, though not as unfortunate as this one), decided that he did not want to go to work one day. Because being a teacher is a life and death profession in the beautiful country of Scotland, it was no surprise that the teacher had to come up with an excuse that would be good enough to get him out of work. As with all excuses that are used to get one out of work, it had to be big, but believable. So naturally, Mr. Kilmartin decided that the best possible candidate would be that he had accidentally killed a girl. How? Well, this is where the teacher decided to keep it simple. He simply backed over her, on his way to work of course. Still can’t figure out how he pulled it off? Keep reading for the blood-soaked nitty-gritties.
Joyce Kilmartin, head teacher at Calderhead High School in Shotts, said Derek McGlone, 42, fabricated stories on a “number of occasions” to take time off from work, The Daily Telegraph reported Thursday.
“He started off telling a few silly lies. He then lied about knocking a girl over and killing her — he said he felt his car wheels running over her body,” Kilmartin told the General Teaching Council Scotland hearing.
I guess he decided that the story had to be graphically realistic if it were to be believed. After all, nobody would believe that a man who recently ran over and killed a girl with his car would be suffering from any sort of stress or trauma. He of course, felt embarrassed by his actions and had no reasonable explanation for the lie he told. Apparently, the school board didn’t see getting out of work as a fit excuse. I agree. If it were me, I would have used the “dog just killed and ate grandma in the kitchen” excuse.