We all feared it. Those radicals among us knew it. Nobody wanted to believe it. But it’s true, and there is just no fighting it anymore. Sooner or later, we all have to face the facts, and the fact is, cell phones are destroying America. You read that right. They are killing our heritage and our children. How, you say? Cell phones
cause global warming make us drool more. Soon, we will have to turn away from our friends as we talk on a cell phone in order to avoid showering them with little bits of drool accompanied by that snack you ate earlier. No longer will we be able to enjoy the company of family without having to awkwardly leave the room every time we get a phone call. Everyone will be isolated, and it’s nobody’s fault but our own. Wipe the spit off of your computer and hit the jump for more info.
The study, carried out at the Vidhya Shikshan Prasark Mandal’s Dental College and Research Centre, India, sought to establish if the parotid glands are different amongst heavy cell phone users. The parotid glands, as you might have guessed, are the saliva-producing system in your jaw.
The team took 142 participants and separated them into heavy cell phone users and a control group. Then they got down to the serious work: measuring unstimulated parotid salivary flow rate, and also imaging the glands using ultrasound.
The results speak for themselves. Heavy cell phone users have larger parotid glands, with higher levels of blood flow. Not just that: they produce, and secrete, 26 percent more saliva on the side of the face where they typically hold their mobile phone, compared to the control group.
There you have it. We are all doomed. I think it’s more impressive that they managed to get a control group to go without cell usage for any amount of time. They must have found the control group participants from that village Indiana Jones had to help because they were too lazy to do it themselves. Also, 26% more saliva on the side of the face where they typically used their cell phone?! Does India not have text messaging? I can’t remember the last time I actually used my cell phone to make a phone call. “You had to call the doctor to get that questionable rash looked at.” I WAS TOLD IT WAS ALL NATURAL BODY WASH!